


Remorse and Redemption

by KrimsonMistress



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Death, Drama, Drunkenness, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Guilt, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-07-25 02:20:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16188065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrimsonMistress/pseuds/KrimsonMistress
Summary: A man and a woman are lying on the battlefield. The man has wrapped his arms around the woman as if he wanted to protect her. But it’s been to late. The woman has stopped breathing. Her two hearts are quiet.The man is still alive, more or less. One heart is nearly gone. He’s been severely injured and he probably won’t make it. Only a miracle could save them now.





	1. Revival

_Her eyelids are heavy. Every step hurts. But she is fighting. For the first time in her long life she is aware. She knows what she wants._

_She has always underestimated herself but that is what saved her now. Her former self, vain, arrogant, selfish, too blind to see the truth. But he made her see._

_It's time to break the cycle._

_She is limping. He did kill her, left her unable to regenerate, but she isn't dead yet. Death is crawling through her limbs but he can't get a grip. And as long as he is failing to take her, she will fight. Fight for the ending she always wanted._

_Cybermen are moving towards her but she blasts them off with her brolly. She can't die. Not yet. Not like that. She has to find him first._

_The familiar sound of his sonic screwdriver fills the air. It puts a smile on her face. She wishes she could run to him but her legs are too heavy and her heels are to high._

_“_ _Doctor..._ _”_ _Her voice is almost gone. Talking hurts even more than_ _walking_ _. But when he turns to her, his eyebrows forming disbelief_ _at_ _her appearance, she just has to smile._

_Then she feels the pain of a cyber laser in her back. It's the second time this day and the pain stuns her vision. Black dots are dancing in front of her eyes. She reaches out for him, wants to take his hand in the moment of death. But before she hits the ground, everything turns black._

_A man and a woman are lying on the battlefield._ _The man has wrapped his arms around_ _the woman_ _as if he wanted to protect her. But it’s been to late. The woman has stopped breathing._ _Her two hearts are_ _quiet_ _._

_The man is still alive, more or less. One heart is nearly gone. He’s been severely injured and he probably won’t make it._ _Only a miracle could save them now._

Missy opened her eyes. The first thing she could see were those stupid round things the Doctor had put at the walls of his Tardis. She sat up slowly. Her head was aching but as far as she could see, she was still very much alive. 

The Doctor was lying next to her. Ragged clothes and blood on his face. His eyes were still closed but he was breathing. She rested her palm on his chest to feel the heartbeats. Both were calm and synchronised.

“Wakey wakey, old man.” She padded his cheek. Her hand was shaking. Not because she was in pain but because she was afraid. She needed him to wake up to see that he was alright too. Of course, she’d never admitted that.

The Doctor’s eyes opened slowly. He blinked in confusion for a moment to adjust his body to the situation. But before he could say anything, two persons emerged from the other side of the console.

Missy’s reaction was quick. She didn’t have her brolly at hand but still a blade in her sleeve. In less than a second she pulled it out and pointed it at the intruders, ready to fight.

But it were familiar faces.

“Calm down there!”, the eggman said, lifting his arms in defence.

“It’s just us.”, the black girl added. It took Missy a second to realise that it was odd to have her here. Human and not at all cybermeny.

“Bill... Nardole...” 

It made Missy just a little bit jealous that the Doctor had noticed them first. She put the blade down again and after thinking about it for a second, she put it in the hand of her old friend. The situation didn’t seem to be dangerous anymore so it was best for her not to carry any weapons.

He looked at her and she couldn’t tell the meaning of his expression at all. Then he stood up sluggishly. Bill lend him a hand so that he wouldn’t fall.

“What happened?”, he asked exhausted.

“Long story.” Bill snorted and Nardole shook his head.

“You... You’re you!” The Doctor beamed at the girl and gave her a long hug.

“I was dead.”, Missy said rationally after he stood safe on his dirty boots again. All eyes were on her now.

“You were.”, the Doctor said slowly. “I remember...” He kneeled down again and took her hands in his own. 

“I should have stayed dead.” The words were out before she had thought about them. She cursed herself for it.

“Don’t say that.” The Doctor shook his head and tightened his grip.

Missy felt more tired than ever before in her long life. All she wanted was to fall into his arms and feel the comforting warmth of his body. But she knew that she didn’t deserve it yet.

“It was Heather.”, Bill explained proudly. “She came back. She fixed us. All of us.”

“Heather...” The Doctor was thinking and in processing it, he did let Missy’s hands go. “Of course! She is the Pilot, she can fix anything!” He looked at Missy again. “Even death.”

The Time Lady forced a smile on her face. “Back to the Vault it is then?”

“Back it is!” The Doctor jumped on his feet again and fiddled on the Tardis console.

“What happened to... you know, the other you?”, Bill asked when Missy stood up as well, still feeling stiff and tired. 

“I’d like to know that too.” Nardole nodded and the Doctor also stared at her in expectation.

“Well...” Missy looked at her broken nails. “He’s gone. Off to his Tardis to run away.”

“But you didn’t go with him.”, the Doctor said and she could hear pride in his voice. It left a sting in her chest.

“No.” She shook her head and took a deep breath. “Sometimes you have to separate from the past.”

“Congratulations then.” The Doctor gave her a warm smile. “You’ve passed your test.”

“No.” Missy shook her head. “I haven’t. I’ve failed.”

“You decided to leave your past behind. And that’s good.”

“I decided to  _kill_ my past.” Missy brushed over her face. “I killed him. He killed me. Because that’s what I am. That’s what I always will be.”

It was quiet in the Tardis. Missy couldn’t bear it. Without looking at anyone of them she walked to the door and opened it. The Doctor had landed the Tardis in front of the Vault so she just entered it to lock herself away in her prison again. 

It was strange how the quantum fold chamber felt more like home than any other place in the whole universe. At first she had hated the thought to spend a thousand years in it but now she was happy to have a place to stay.

“Missy...”

Of course the Doctor had followed her. But she felt too tired to face him. She just waited for him to scold her so that she could go to bed afterwards.

“You did kill him so that he would have to regenerate into you.”

Missy nodded lightly to confirm it.

“That’s... an unusual situation but... theoretically you didn’t hurt anyone... but you.” 

There was no anger in his voice what convinced her to turn around to face him.

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Can I go to bed then? I’m feeling very exhausted.”

“Sure. Get some rest.” The Doctor hesitated for a moment. “Do you want to go to town tomorrow?”

“Town?” Missy blinked.

“Bristol. I mean, you’ve been here for almost a century. It’s time to show you around.” He gave her a light smile.

Missy bit her lower lip. “Will I get ice-cream?”

“If you want some.”

“I want to sit outside of an ice cream parlour, eat a big hot fudge sundae and watch the birdies steal the food from the ground.” She looked right into the Doctor’s eyes. “Is that acceptable?”

“More than acceptable.” He tilted his head. “That’s quite modest.”

“I said I do want a  _big_ sundae.”

“Right.” The Doctor chuckled lightly.

“And I want to go with you alone. Leave your pets at home.” Missy folded her arms.

“Don’t call them pets.”

“Yeah, you call them  _friends_.” Missy huffed.

“They are.”

“Yeah, bye then.” Missy’s tone grew quite aggressive and she put off her coat just to throw it into a corner.

“Are you jealous?”, the Doctor asked quietly.

“You wish!” Missy kicked away the boots. Her feet felt very grateful. All this walking on the muddy ground did leave some blisters.

“You know that it’s different... I mean, you are different.”

“Can you please leave now?” Missy opened the bow around her neck. The ribbon fell down to the floor as well. “I really want to get out of these clothes.”

“Sure.” He nodded. “Good night.”

“Night-night.”

While the Doctor was leaving Missy was fighting her legs out of her tights. Normally she hated to throw around clothing and risk it getting crumpled, but right now she didn’t care at all and just left all clothing except of her underwear on the floor before crawling into bed. The blanket gave her the warm feeling of belonging and safety. She built herself a comfy pillow-blanket-fort and it didn’t take her long to fall asleep in there.


	2. Raspberry Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cut. Bleed. Cut. Bleed. Cut. Brain Frost.

_Cut._

_It’s an unhealthy rhythm._

_Bleed._

_A secret rhythm no-one must find out about._

_Cut._

_Not even..._

_Bleed._

_..._ _herself._

_Cut_. 

When the Doctor entered the Vault in the next morning, Missy was still very much asleep. Nothing but a tuft of curly hair and a hand with grated black nail polish was visible between the blanket-pillow-fort. He carefully sat down on the bed and ran a hand through the messy curls.

“Time to wake up.”, he muttered.

“Mmmh...”, Missy grumbled into her pillows.

“Come on, rise and shine.” The Doctor pulled away the blanket which did cause Missy to move. Quickly. She ripped it out of his hands to cover her body again since she wasn’t wearing anything but her underwear.

“Doctor!”

“Sorry.” His excuse wasn’t sincere since he did see something that worried him. He took one of her hands and ran his finger down the forearm. It was covered in fresh cuts.

Missy was shaking under his touch and didn’t look at him.

“What happened?”, he asked, his voice almost gone.

“Bread knife accident.”, Missy mumbled barely audible.

“On your whole arm?”

“It was an aggressive bread knife.”

“Missy...” The Doctor shook his head.

“Go now, I’ve gotta change.” She wanted to wave him off, but he just shook his head again.

“You’re not going anywhere until you have explained it to me.”

“Fine, then I’ll stay right here!” Missy pulled her arm out of his grip and crossed it with the other one.

“Missy...” The Doctor shook his head. “I’m just worried.”

“There is nothing to worry about.” Her glance grew a little softer.

“You hurt yourself. That is something to worry about. Or... was it someone else?” He tried to sound calm.

Missy dropped her arms down and sighed without looking at him. “No, it was me. And I was aggressive, not the bread knife.”

“I thought you had dropped such habits a long time ago.” The Doctor took her hand and caressed the back of it.

“I did.” Missy moved away from him again.

“Well, obviously you started it again.”

She turned her back to him. “You don’t know how the past days have been for me. Being around  _him_.”

“Tell me then.” The Doctor’s voice was soft.

Missy wrapped herself up in her blanket. “It’s like... like you made a mistake and constantly have to face it. It would be easy... but you know that you aren’t that person anymore...” She brushed a hand over her face. “He is everything I hate about me. Everything I want to leave behind. But he is also a wonderful memory. I loved being him. I remember the feeling... to burn like a thousand suns. It’s like... being caught between two stools.” She laughed joylessly. “I never felt so confused in my whole life.”

“You came back to me in the end. What made you make that decision?”, he asked quietly.

“You’re such an idiot sometimes.” Missy stood up, her body still covered with the blanket.

“Where are you going?”

“To the bathroom, if you don’t mind.” She rolled her eyes.

“I do mind, actually. You still haven’t answered me why you hurt yourself.” The Doctor crossed his arms.

“Oh, for the sake of...!” Missy shook her head. “I  _did_ tell you! It’s not my fault if you don’t understand!”

“Because you were... confused?”

“You’re the only confused person in the room, honey. And I don’t care if you don’t take me outside today. I’m going to the bathroom now. I need a wee and a shower.” And without further ado Missy swaggered off to the bathroom, the blanket fluttering around her body.

The Doctor was waiting patiently for Missy to come back. He wouldn’t allow her to end the topic like this. And besides that, he still did want to take her out.

She took her time and he knew that she was doing it on purpose. No one knew better about his impatientness but her. But he wouldn’t lose patience today and the decades he’d spent at this place made his eagerness slow down a little.

After almost an hour Missy left the bathroom again, her long hair hidden in a towel, her body wrapped up in a pink fluffy bathrobe. She ignored him and collected her clothing from the floor. He only now noticed that it shouldn’t be lying there like that. Missy had always been neat person. Even though she loved chaos, she didn’t allow it to infiltrate her personal surroundings. Way back in university when they had shared a room Koschei had always complained if he left his stuff lying around, even if it was just a book out of its place.

“Guess that’s broken now...”, Missy muttered while inspecting her battered coat.

“I’ll buy you a new one.”, the Doctor offered.

“I’ve got plenty of clothes. I won’t cry after some broken fabric.”

“My clothes are gone too.” He stood up and walked towards her.

“Yeah... I need to clean the boots. They’re muddy. Bring me something.”

“This isn’t over, Missy. You can’t run away from me.”

“I could have. Me being here does mean that I didn’t want to.” She didn’t look at him and folded the remains of her clothes together.

“Missy...” He reached out for her hand but the Time Lady took a step back.

“Do not touch me.”

“Since when have you started to feel uncomfortable if I do that?” He looked right into her eyes. “Since today? Since I’ve seen it?”

“Since you are a fucking moron!”

He twitched on her choice of expression. “Don’t say such words.”

“Oh, for the sake of this ugly planet, don’t act like you’re my mother!” Missy aggressively clapped her boots against each other what made the now dried dirt crumble.

“I’m not acting like I’m your mother. I’m trying to talk to you.”

“No.” Missy clapped the boots together again, right in front of his face so that some dust flew into his eyes.

“The trouble with you is that you always think you’re right.”, she said while he started coughing and blinking.

“You’re arrogant. You always stick with your point of view.” She walked around him, hands crossed behind her back. “If you’re oh so kind, why is your right answer to torture me like that?”

“I’m not... torturing you.” He rubbed his eyes.

Missy huffed and willowed up her sleeves, showing him the wounds again. “That little piggy is for the Doctor.” She said with a baby voice and pointed at a cut. “That little piggy is for the Master.” She pointed at another. “That little piggy is for Clara Oswald.” 

“Don’t say that name.” It hurt the Doctor even more that seeing Missy naming her wounds.

She looked at him, something dark flourishing in her glance. Then she came closer and leaned in until her lips almost touched his ear.

“ _Clara Oswald_.”, she whispered again.

“Stop it!” Now it was his turn to move back from her.

“And that is how you make me feel.” Missy turned away from him and picked up her clothes and boots again.

The Doctor just stared at her for a moment, the he sighed quietly and looked down to his shoes. “I’m sorry. I just... I’m worried about you.”

Missy didn’t react. She slowly put the boots next to her other shoes and threw the clothes into the waste. Then she walked back to him, her face blank without any expressions.

“There once was a Chinese guy who dreamed he was a butterfly. When he woke up, he wasn’t sure anymore if it was a dream. Maybe he wasn’t a man dreaming to be a butterfly, but a butterfly dreaming to be a man.”, she said.

The Doctor blinked. “What?”

“Sometimes I feel like I’m in a dream. Sometimes I wish we were still at university and all of this...” She moved her arms in a wide circle. “...was nothing more than a bad dream.”

“So... are you the butterfly now? Or the man? Or the dream?”

Missy huffed. “I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.”

“... So, you are Freddie Mercury now?”

Now Missy had to laugh. It was a relief for the Doctor because he knew that she wasn’t mad at him anymore.

“You tell me.”, she said and sat down at her piano, starting to play  _Bohemian Rhapsody_.

“Well, in that outfit you’re certainly on a good way.”, he commented on the scene.

“You want to tell me that I look gay, Mister Carnival Coat?”, Missy asked carefree without stopping to play.

“Well, at the moment you’d be straight.” The Doctor sat down next to her.

“Honey, I’ve never been straight. Why choose between two flavours when you can have a birthday cake?” She was still playing without making any mistakes. The years inside of the Vault really helped her to master the piano.

“I probably don’t want to know what a  _birthday cake_ includes.”

Missy snorted with a grin. “ _I see a little_ _silhouetto_ _of a man. Scaramouch, Scaramouch will you do the Fandango?_ ” Her answer just consisted of her singing along with her play. 

The Doctor shook his head, a warm smile on his face before he joined the song. Missy moved her fingers up on the piano, giving him the opportunity to play the second hand. He wasn’t as good at the piano as she was, but at least he found the notes somehow.

“Not bad.”, Missy said after they’d ended the song. “We should do that more often.”

“If you want to.” The Doctor smiled at her. “I could bring my guitar.”

“Time for  _We Will Rock You_ then.”

They both chuckled. 

“Do you still want to go to an ice cream parlour?”, the Doctor asked.

“Am I still allowed?”, she smiled lightly.

“Well, eating ice cream alone looks pathetic.”

“Well, in that case I’ll stay here and let you go.” Missy put out her tongue.

He gently boxed her shoulder. “Not nice.”

“Oh sorry, Mr Nice Guy.” Missy chuckled and stood up. “I’ll put some clothes on.”

About half an hour later the Doctor and Missy left the Vault. The Time Lady had put on a velvet tea dress, combined with cox pumps. She really nailed every vintage look.

“So, tell me”, the Doctor asked as they left schoolgrounds, “how long did it take you to learn walking in such things.” He nodded to her shoes.

“Not that long, actually. But at first I was horrible.” She chuckled. “I broke my ankle.”

The Doctor had to laugh as well “How did that happen?”

“Well, I had stolen my first pair of heels and was running away from the police. I underestimated it.”

“That’s... sad.” The Doctor shook his head.

“Well, after a regeneration you never think rationally. Especially not with all that oestrogen.”

“I’m not that experienced with oestrogen.”

Missy snorted. “Maybe one day you will.”

“I don’t know if I want to.”

“Ach, don’t be afraid. It’s a wonderful change and it also shows you the downsides of your little favourite planet. It didn’t take me one week to get kicked out of my favourite club because I was wearing skirts now.” Missy shrugged. “So, I’ve done a creative little massacre and made the club mine.”

The Doctor sighed. “Well, I’ve heard that it’s normal for women to rage once in a month...”

“Honey. I’m a Time Lady, not one of your human pets. You should pay more attention in biology. Or were you too afraid to google  _menstruation_?”

“I know what menstruation is.” The Doctor pouted.

“But you obviously don’t know that _I_  don’t have a menstruation cycle because  _I_ am not human and my body thankfully doesn’t follow that ridiculous rules of creating little babies and then spitting them out with half of my organs. I mean, how do humans even want to procreate? It’s like a splatter film!”

Now the Time Lord had to laugh again. “Honestly? I don’t know.”

“Your wife is human. You should now.”

The joy vanished from his face as Missy remembered him of River. It still hurt, even after all those years.

“I’m sorry.”, Missy said quietly. She carefully took his hand and he squeezed it.

“It’s okay. I mean... I know that she’s safe.”

“That doesn’t make it easier though.”

“No... no, it doesn’t.” The Doctor looked at her. “Are you really trying to comfort me?”

“Maybe.” Missy shrugged. “Does it work?”

He nodded. “Yes. It does.”

“Good.”

They continued to walk but Missy didn’t let go of his hand. The Doctor wasn’t quite sure how to interpret it but he decided to let it happen.

After a little walk they arrived at the ice cream parlour the Doctor had visited maybe a bit too often. It was near Millennium Square so there were lots of birds to watch.

“It’s nice.”, Missy said while sitting down and grabbing the menu.

“Yeah.” The Doctor sat down next to her. “A good place to catch some fresh air.”

“Well, after being in the Vault for so long literally every place is a good place to catch some fresh air.” She crossed her legs.

“I guess so...” The Doctor scratched his head.

“I want that one.” Missy pointed at the picture of a Raspberry Rose Sundae.

“You do know that that one contains vodka...?”

“Yes.” She nodded and lifted an eyebrow at the Doctor’s sceptical glance. “I’m old enough to drink.”

“Yes, but...”

“Oh, come on, it’s a bloody sundae, I won’t get drunk from that! Besides, rose water is healthy so it’s balanced.”

The Doctor sighed. “Okay, fine.”

“Thank you.” Missy huffed.

He ordered the Raspberry Rose Sundae for her and a Chocolate Sundae for himself. Missy leaned back in her chair and looked up into the sky.

“Real clouds.”, she said a bit dreamy. “It’s been so long since I’ve been outside. That spaceship doesn’t count, it wasn’t real air. Real sky. Real gravity.”

“Are you sentimental now?” The Doctor smiled a little.

“Oi, be glad if I find something positive about this stupid planet you like so much.”

“I am.”

Missy sat up again and took a deep breath. “It’s scary.”

“Scary?”, the Doctor asked a bit confused.

“I shouldn’t be free. I shouldn’t be outside.”

“No, no, it’s fine. Nothing will happen.”

“How do you know?” Missy’s hands started shaking. “What if I kill someone?”

“That is still your decision.”

“What if I do it by accident?!” Her voice grew higher.

“Calm down.” The Doctor kneeled down in front of her and took her hands in his own. “Try to breathe slowly.”

Missy took a deep breath. “Fuck.”

This time he didn’t scold her. He knew that something had changed and that she was fighting. Maybe he had underestimated her point of view.

“Nothing’s going to happen. We will eat our ice cream and go home again. But if you’re too afraid we can go now.”

“No... no, I want my ice cream.” Missy closed her eyes for a second. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t hold back the panic attack.”

The Doctor carefully caressed her hands. “Did... something like that happen before?”

She nodded slowly. “Sometimes I just... can’t keep it together. I keep remembering all the horrible things I’ve done and it feels like... my head explodes.”

He closed his eyes for a second, then he placed his hands on her temples, creating a psychic link to reduce the panic.

“Stop. Please.”, Missy moved his hands away. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. ”Sit down, please. The humans are staring at us.”

In fact, Missy’s little outburst did cause quite a scene. Of course, none of the pedestrians was offering help. They were just staring.

The Doctor sighed quietly and moved back on his chair. A few moments later the waiter brought their sundaes. Missy started to eat immediately. Well, more gorging than eating.

“Don’t frost your head.”

“I’m trying to frost my head!”

The Doctor smiled and shook his head while starting to eat his own ice cream. Missy had finished hers in under a minute and rested her head on the table with a slaphappy smile.

“Ah. Brain frost.”

He chuckled. “You alright there?”

She moved her thumb up. 

“Well, you’ll have to wait for me now. I don’t want a brain frost.” The Doctor ate another spoon of his ice cream.

“Share with me.”

“After seeing you eating like that I have doubts about that. But I could order you another one.”

“Do that. More chocolate sauce though.”, Missy said without looking up.

“I’m not your servant.”

“But the waiter is.”

The Doctor shook his head but he did order her a new sundae. When the waiter brought it over, Missy finally sat up again.

“Try to give yourself at least a minute.”, the Doctor suggested.

“Huh.” Missy eyed her sundae. “I can still see the ice cream. Not enough chocolate sauce.”

“Half of the bowl is chocolate sauce.”

“Exactly. It should be 90% and then I would smash my face in.”

“Why don’t you try to eat it instead?”

“Hm.” Missy tilted her head. “Not the worst idea.”

The Doctor chuckled as she dipped her finger into the chocolate sauce and then put it in her mouth.

“You know that you’ve got a spoon?”

Missy nodded and dried her finger with the napkin before starting to eat her sundae. She wasn’t as fast as before, but still over average ice cream eating speed.

After some more minutes they had both finished eating and the Doctor paid their meal.

“What a rare view. The Doctor with money. Have you finally noticed that your hippie lifestyle won’t pay the bills?” Missy smirked.

“Well, I do have a job, so I get paid.” He shrugged. “I have to act human and having money is a part of that. Besides, I need to buy stuff for you too.”

Missy poked his nose what made him blink in confusion. “Yeah, you always brought me pretty stuff. And you’ve got some ice cream there.”

She chuckled as he wiped it off, then her face grew serious again. “I want to go back home. I’m tired.”

“Okay.” He nodded and offered her his hand but this time she didn’t take it.

They walked back in silence which gave the Doctor a chance to think about Missy’s behaviour... and her calling the Vault  _home_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for brain frost!  
> I hope you liked the chapter. It isn't even that short!  
> Sometimes you plan something but random randomness creeps in. AND BRAIN FROST!  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	3. Acute Sooth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s all your fault. And you can’t even remember them.”

_“How many people have lost their lives because of you?”_

_“How many children their parents?”_

_“How many lovers their light?”_

_“How many people are broken because of you?”_

_“How many rooms empty?”_

_“How many_ _tears_ _shed?”_

_“How many screams shouted?”_

_“It’s all your fault.”_

_“And you can’t even remember them.”_

“I’ve been worried to death! You gone, the Vault empty, what were you thinking?!”, Nardole complained as they arrived in the cellar before the Doctor even had a chance to say something.

“You should know that thinking isn’t his strong point.”, Missy huffed and pranced back into the Vault. “Night-night.”, she said and winked before closing the door behind her.

Nardole had been watching her with his jaw dropped and now his glance was wandering back to the Doctor. “What were you doing?!”

“Just took her out a bit...”

“You just  _took her out a bit_.” Nardole shook his head. “Are you completely out of your mind?”

“Maybe I am!” The Doctor put his arms akimbo. “All I know is that she came back to me. It was her decision. Her free will. So, she deserves some trust.”

“She killed...!”

“...herself?” The Doctor shook his head. “That doesn’t count.”

Nardole sighed. “She may be starting to redeem herself... but it’s still a long way to go.”

“I know that. But keeping her locked away forever won’t help her with social reintegration.”

“Still, you can’t just let her lose to the world!”

“I didn’t. I was with her and we only made a short trip.”

“Where did you go anyway?”

“Eating ice cream.”

Nardole blinked and then shook his head. “I really don’t get you sometimes.”

“Me neither.” The Doctor clapped his hands. “Alright, world is safe, trip is done, time for the fun bit. Homework.”

_“It’s like you made a mistake and constantly have to face it.”_

_“He is everything I hate about me. Everything I want to leave behind.”_

_“I loved being him."_

_“I never felt so confused in my whole life.”_

_“If you’re oh so kind, why is your right answer to torture me like that?”_

Missy’s words were haunting through the Doctor’s head and kept him from focusing on the students works. He knew that she had reached a breaking point and that he had to do the right thing now to keep her on track. But he really didn’t know what that thing was.

“Staring into space?”, Bill asked and ripped the Doctor out of his thoughts. He didn’t hear her coming in.

“Just... thinking.” He cleared his throat.

“Yeah...” Bill sat down at the other side of his desk. “I can’t believe I’ve been away from here for over ten years... and it’s still all the same.”

“I’m sorry. You were right. It was a bad idea.” The Doctor shook his head.

“It was also a lot of bad luck.” Bill smiled. “Besides, Heather took the age away from me.”

“She can do that?” The Doctor was visibly impressed.

“She can do everything. Made me human again, healed you, brought Missy back.”

“And...” He chose the next words carefully. “... you didn’t want to stay with her?”

Bill smiled and looked down at her fingers. “She asked me to but I told her that you’d still need me. And that I’d call her when it’s time.”

“Look, I don’t need you, I...”

“Yeah, you do.” Bill tilted her head. “You don’t want to deal with Nardole and Missy all alone.”

The Doctor huffed and shook his head. “You brought it to yourself.”

“I know.” She smiled. “So... what do we do next?”

“Teacher’s duty.” He pointed at the student’s homework.

“Everything’s back to normal then?” Bill tilted her head.

“It always goes back to normal. The world doesn’t stop because of us.” He smiled lightly. “And I’m sure you still know how to make chips.”

In the evening Bill and the Doctor were sitting in his office over a cup of tea. It had been strange for Bill to go back on the job as if nothing ever happened and the Doctor wasn’t as focused as usual as well. So, they decided to just relax for a moment and get used to normal life again.

But then Nardole entered the room, out of breath and sweating. 

“You need to come with me!”, he shouted without explaining a thing before running away again.

The Doctor didn’t ask, he just followed him, out of the building, down to the cellar. Bill of course came along with them.

When they entered the Vault, the Doctor took in a sharp breath. Missy was lying on the floor, curled up and crying. She had scratched open her arms again and was trembling under heart-breaking sobbing.

“Missy...” The Doctor kneeled down next to her and carefully put a hand on her back. She winced under his touch.

“Please wait outside.”, he said without looking away from her.

Bil and Nardole looked at each other for a moment, then they left the Vault again. The Doctor gently picked up the Time Lady and placed her on her bed.

“Do you want to talk?”, he asked softly.

Missy shook her head.

“Do you want a hug?”

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded lightly.

The Doctor carefully wrapped his arms around her trembling body. Her head dropped on his chest and she closed her eyes, still crying. He didn’t ask, he just held her in his arms.

“Do you think I can ever be good?”, she finally asked, her voice broken.

“Yes.” The Doctor ran a hand through her hair and smiled lightly.

“I want to be good.” Missy sniffled.

“I know.” He carefully caressed her cheek. “And you will be.”

“What can I do?” She looked at him with watery eyes. “Tell me what I can do. I don’t want to sit around. I want to do something. Something good.”

“At first, promise me to never do that again.” He took her arms and ran his thumbs over her wounds.

Missy looked away from him. “That doesn’t help anyone.”

“It helps me. Because I hate to see you hurt.”

She bit her lip for a few seconds, then she nodded. “Okay. I promise.”

“Thank you.” He smiled lightly and placed a short kiss on her forehead.

“I was the one who broke your Lynishat.” She smiled sadly.

The Doctor blinked. “You mean... back at the academy?”

She nodded. “You were so angry, so I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s okay. I’ve got a better one in the TARDIS now.” He smiled lightly. “But thanks for telling me.”

“Let’s play Truth or Dare.” Missy sat up again and wiped the tears from her face. “I already started with Truth.”

The Doctor lifted an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Why not?” She shrugged.

“Alright. Then it’s my turn, I guess. I’ll take Truth too.”

“Did you ever consider to break the oath? To just run away and leave me here?” She tried to sound calm but she couldn’t hide her insecurity completely.

“Never. And that is the full truth.”

She smiled lightly. “Then I’ll take Dare.”

“Fine. I dare you to aid those scratches on your arms. Because they need bandaging.”

Missy rolled her eyes. “Alright.” She stood up and went to the bathroom. The Doctor followed her and helped her to apply the bandages from the first aid kit.

“Your turn.”, she said after he’d fixated the dressing.

“Dare.”

“Copycat.” Missy huffed. “Alright. I dare you to give my existence a purpose.”

“What?” The Doctor blinked in confusion.

“Give me a task. Something useful. Something good. Because I’m going mad if I have nothing but the guilt.”

The Doctor couldn’t hide his surprise on that statement. “Uhm...” He tried to think of something. “Well, graduation party is soon and we always need helping hands. It won’t make the world a better place but there’s a lot of stuff to do.”

“Count me in.” Missy smiled lightly.

“Do you dare to be around so many people?”

She looked at her feet for a moment, a sad spark in her eyes. “If you’re by my side.”

“I won’t leave you alone.” He gently tapped her shoulder. “But you’ll have to work. Don’t just sit around.”

Missy huffed. “You are the one that always runs away from the real work.”

“That is not true.”

“Yes, it is.”

“I never had minions to do the dirty work for me.”

“I always clean up my room and do TARDIS maintenance.”

“At least I can fly a TARDIS. Unlike you.”

Missy gasped. “Take that back.”

“You crash-landed it on a space station near a black hole!”

“You crash-land it all the time, you lose it, you break it, you never even release the brakes!”

“Me and my TARDIS understand each other! She always comes back to me!”

“You’re that kind of guy who’d marry her if she wasn’t a machine!”

“That’s not true! She was human once and I didn’t marry her!”

“Wow, I’m proud of you! You have at least a tiny spark of decency left in your brain!”

“ _You_ are telling me about decency?!”

Missy took a deep breath. “Well... at least I never fucked a TARDIS!”

“You really think I would do  _that_?!”

She shook her head. “No. I’m just out of arguments.”

He blinked in confusion for a moment, then he started to chuckle. “Why did we have an argument anyway?”

“Because you insulted my pilot skills.” Missy crossed her arms. “That wasn’t nice.”

“But true.”

“Oh, don’t start again!” Missy tried to look angry, but in the next second she snorted because she couldn’t hold back her laughter.

“I’m gonna pick you up when it’s time for work.”, the Doctor said with a smile. “Until then, try to learn the TARDIS manual.”

That yielded him a forehead slap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I hate being stuck in a plotline! I took ages for this chapter because I didn't know how to connect what I'd written with what I wanted to write. Now I tinkered it together somehow. I hope it will be easier and faster to continue for me from now on. xD  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	4. Remedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's simple.

_It’s simple._

_Don’t hurt anyone. Don’t kill anyone._

_It’s simple._

_Don’t_ _use rude words. Don’t use cruel metaphors._

_It’s simple._

_Wear a smile. Be nice._ _Stay away from sharp objects_ _._

_It’s simple._

_But oh so hard._

The Doctor had sent Nardole away so that he wouldn’t interfere with his plan. He knew that the cyborg wouldn’t approve Missy leaving the Vault and he wasn’t in the mood for a discussion. It was a big risk. There really wasn’t any need to make it even more complicated.

When he entered the Vault he immediately sensed that Missy was nervous. That was new because she usually shielded her moods from him. Maybe it was unintentional, maybe she wanted to show him trust, maybe she just wanted to proof a point. One could never be sure when it was about her.

Missy was sitting cross-legged on the floor, wearing her night gown. Her eyes were closed and it almost looked like she tried to do yoga.

“Do you want to come and help now?”, the Doctor asked carefully.

She opened one of her eyes. “Yes.”

“That would require you to move.”

Missy huffed and stood up. “I’ll just pop on some clothes.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” The Doctor turned his back to her. “I’m gonna wait. But don’t worry, I won’t peek.”

“Is it weird for you? That I am a woman now?”, she asked. There was no derision in her voice.

“It’s not  _weird_. I just feel like it’s rude to look.”, he answered honestly.

Missy huffed quietly. “Afraid you might like what you see?”

“No. I mean, it’s not that you’re unattractive but I’m not afraid. I mean...” He took a deep breath. “You know what I mean.”

She chuckled. “Yeah.”

“I mean, after you regenerated wasn’t it all new for you too, at least at first?”

“Well, every regeneration is all new. But yeah, this one was quite something. And now I know why I woke up without remembering what had happened.”, she said quietly then she started laughing. “I woke up and all I could do was admiring my new breasts. It took me some minutes to stop thinking like a man.”

The Doctor shook his head. “Is there really such a big difference?”

“Well, your body is a big difference. But everything else... well, minor details. Not getting taken seriously by stupid men. But I must say, I do embrace the sisterhood.” She hesitated for a moment before adding quietly. “I feel like it’s how it always should have been.”

The Doctor slowly turned around. Missy had changed into a white blouse combined with short flap trousers and her usual boots. Her hair got tamed by a red ribbon now and she reminded him of the famous feminist poster that told women that they could do it. And also of Sarah Jane Smith. 

“It’s the first time I see you wearing trousers in that body.”, he said with a smile.

“Well, long skirts are fashionable but not made for physical work.“ She shrugged.

The Doctor nodded. “Suits you though.”

“Oh please.” Missy rolled her eyes. “Spare me.”

“Alright.” He smirked and offered her his arm. “Off we go then.”

The Doctor was pleased to see that Missy really tried. He had introduced her to his colleagues as an old friend who wanted to help and she really did. She scampered between the people, always having an eye on the person who needed the most assistance in preparing the rooms for the party. It made him really proud.

“Your friend is heaven sent.”, said Alice Howard, the mathematics professor of the college, while carrying chairs with the Doctor. “We’re almost finished. Last year we took twice as long.”

“Yeah, I remember.” The Doctor looked over to Missy who was balancing on a ladder while putting up fairy lights.

“Since when do you know each other?”

“Oh. Forever. We went to university together.” He smiled lightly and put down the chairs at the table.

“Why don’t you invite her to the graduation party?”

The Doctor looked at his colleague. “Invite her?”

Alice shrugged. “Well, she is your friend and she has helped us quite a lot. So why not?”

He took a brief glance at Missy to make sure that she wasn’t watching or listening before answering. “Look... she isn’t made for crowded places. She... has some issues.”

“I see.” Alice nodded. “Well, it was just an idea.”

“I mean...” He looked back at Missy. “I’m sure she would like to have some fun.”

“Well ask her. It’s her health, so it’s her decision.”

The Doctor nodded. “Yeah... that’s right.”

“I know it’s probably inappropriate but may I ask what happened?”

He eyed his colleague for a moment, not sure what to say. She was a nice person and he probably had worried her now.

“Missy became a delinquent at some point.”, he said truthfully. “It wasn’t her fault alone. Things went very wrong.”

“It’s always sad to see people getting pushed to their dark side.” Alice looked at Missy now. “I hope it’s getting better for her.”

“I’m taking care of that.” The Doctor smiled reassuringly.

“Are you... together?”, she asked carefully.

He immediately shook his head. “No, no. We’re friends. Just friends.”

“Doctor!” Missy waved him over and he was thankful for that because he didn’t like where the topic was going.

“What is it?”, he asked while walking towards her.

“That lovely fella asked me if I wanted to come to the party tonight.” She nodded to Timothy Bradley, the professor for linguistics who had held the ladder for her.

“Did he?” The Doctor raised an eyebrow on how popular Missy had made herself within his colleagues.

“Yeah...” She looked down at her fingers. “Not a good idea, huh?”

“Would you like to go?”

“I...” She shrugged helplessly.

“Because if you would like to go you would have my permission.”

Missy looked up, disbelief in her eyes. “Really?”

“Of course I wouldn’t leave you alone but if you want to...”

“Yes.” She nodded eagerly. “I haven’t been to a party in ages. I’ll behave.”

“I don’t doubt that.” The Doctor smiled lightly. “You know that I believe in you, right?”

Missy didn’t say anything and turned away. 

“You need any help over there?”, she shouted at Timothy who was plugging in the last bits of the electronic equipment and without waiting for an answer she walked over to him.

He watched her kneeling down and handling the human technology without even looking at it. It had always been her greatest strength. She was a brilliant programmer and hacker. That’s why he trusted her more than anyone else – including him – on TARDIS maintenance.

It didn’t take much longer until they had prepared everything for the party. Missy was visibly flustered and overstrained when all the people thanked her for her help. She then said goodbye and they went back to the Vault.

“You have wonderful colleagues.”, she said quietly while walking next to him.

“I’ve had worse, yes.” The Doctor smiled lightly. “Did you enjoy the attention?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “I think that Timothy guy fancies me a bit.”

“Don’t get coltish.” The Doctor huffed. “He was just being nice to you.”

“He nicely asked for my phone number.” Missy smirked as he frowned upon that.

“What did you answer?”, he asked calmly.

“I said that I don’t have a phone. Because I don’t have a phone.”

“Right...” The Doctor sighed. “No flirting. Rule for tonight.”

“Hey, I didn’t flirt, it’s not my fault if he asks me!”

“Precautions.”

Missy rolled her eyes. “Yes mom.”

They entered the Vault and Missy immediately turned to her wardrobe, digging through her clothes.

“I need to find an outfit for tonight so please leave and let me be creative.”, she ordered. 

“Alright.” He smiled at her eagerness. “I’ll come and pick you up when it’s time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear, over my joy about Chilling Adventures of Sabrina I'd almost forgotten to upoload the chapter I wrote tonight. xD  
> You should all watch the show, I even got myself Netflix because of it. I won't spoil anything, only that I have "Bad Moon Rising" stuck in my head... and that Michelle Gomez is fucking amazing.  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	5. Graduation Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The woman is lying on the floor, staring into nothingness. She has been like that for over a week. She smells, her hair is greasy and her stomach is demanding food. But she doesn’t care.   
> “When is he coming?”   
> The woman’s voice is broken. She is in tears. 
> 
> “He won’t come.”

_The girl enters the quiet room._

_The woman is lying on the floor, staring into nothingness. She has been like that for over a week._ _She smells, her hair is greasy and her stomach is demanding food._ _But she doesn’t care._

_The girl sits down on the floor. She can’t go closer to the woman because of the containment field._

_“I want to know the truth.”_

_The woman doesn’t react._ _She isn’t even blinking._

_“What happened that night?”_

_“I’m not your enemy.”_

_“I’m not going to judge you.”_

_“I just want to know why.”_

_..._

_“_ _When is he coming?”_

_The woman’s voice is broken. She is in tears._

_“He won’t come._ _”_

The Doctor never cared much for formal clothes. He was just wearing his usual shirt and vest, together with his velvet coat. In his eyes, that was more then enough for a graduation party.

Missy obviously didn’t think like that. She had put on a vintage blouse combined with tight black trousers, very high heels and open hair. He had to admit that she looked fantastic.

“Are you sure I am allowed to go?”, she asked with a little smile when he entered the Vault.

“I am.” The Doctor smiled softly at her. “Unless you don’t want to.”

“As if.” She shook her head. “I’m not missing out on a chance to party.”

“Just don’t party too hard.”

Missy huffed. “It’s still a  _graduation_ party. Not a  _students go crazy with drugs and booze in the attic_ party.”

“I better don’t ask.” He offered her his arm and she accepted to walk over to the college arm in arm with him.

Nardole was visibly shocked when they arrived but because of the other people around he didn’t raise his voice.

“What is she doing here?”, he hissed instead.

“Just joining the party.” The Doctor couldn’t hide his frustration.

“This won’t end well.” Nardole shot Missy an angry glance. “She isn’t supposed to be in the Vault for no reason!”

“She deserves a chance to redeem herself and have some fun for once in a while!”

“But not in the middle of the students and their families!”

“She is present by the way.”, Missy said a bit morose.

“And that is my problem!”, Nardole hissed angrily.

“I’ll get myself a drink and a seat far away from the others.”, the Time Lady gave back and walked over to the improvised bar.

“Wait.” The Doctor caught up with her hastily. “The party hasn’t even begun, you can’t start drinking!”

Missy lifted an eyebrow while looking over to a group of students who already were busy with emptying beer bottles.

“Please don’t get drunk.”, he said, almost pleading. She wasn’t the type to get aggressive while drinking but he really didn’t want to risk anything. 

“I didn’t plan to get drunk.” Missy rolled her eyes. “I never said I wanted to get an alcoholic drink.”

The Doctor took a relieved breath. “Good. Then go on.”

Visibly amused, Missy got herself a glass of water and sat down offside.

“I really don’t know what to think about that.”, Bill said, appearing next to him.

“If you want to complain do it with Nardole. He’ll be happy.”, he gave back a bit more snappish than intended.

“I won’t complain.” Bill shook her head. “I’m not that pessimistic.”

“Thank you.” The Doctor turned to her with a little smile.

“Hey, I know how much all of that means to you and I’m supportive.” She shrugged.

“I could use some support with all of that.” The Doctor shook his head. “I really don’t know what’s the right thing to do. I know that she is trying but I don’t know how to guide her.”

Bill placed a hand on his shoulder. “Relax. I’m gonna keep and eye on her, you’re gonna keep an eye on her, Nardole will keep both eyes on her... so what should go wrong?”

“You’re right.” He smiled lightly. “I really need you.”

“Yeah, I know. Now get going, the students are waiting for you!”

Despite being busy with the party, the Doctor always had an eye on Missy. She didn’t do anything to worry about though. She didn’t even move away from the chair she had embargoed at the beginning of the party and didn’t drink anything but water.

But then Timothy Bradley sat down next to her with two glasses of wine. It rang all his alarm bells and he immediately walked over to interfere.

“You know, I really like your hair.”, he heard him saying while coming closer.

“Thank you. It’s my pride.”, Missy answered with a chuckle. “But don’t you think Alice has nice hair, too?” She nodded over to the mathematics professor who still was a wallflower, but a wallflower in a pretty dress and fluffy hair tonight.

“She has, yes.” Timothy nodded in agreement.

“So, I’ll put this straight for you to understand. I know that I’m attractive and much prettier than any other person in this room, but it’s her you really want.”, Missy said happily.

Timothy blinked in confusion, his cheeks blushing perfidiously. “I... it’s not...”

“Nah, don’t deny it, it’s obvious.” She shook her head. “Don’t try to forget her by meeting other girls. That’s not the way to go and besides, you’re rubbish at flirting.”

“We’re colleagues. It’s just not possible.”, Timothy said quietly.

“There is no such thing as  _not possible._ ” Missy shook her head.

“It’s forbidden, so...”

“So it’s even more exciting! Think of the possibilities. A secret love affair. Don’t tell me it doesn’t turn you on.” She nudged his shoulder. “And I think she isn’t as innocent as she looks. Come on! Dare something tonight. Go and get her, tiger!” Missy smiled and put both wineglasses back in his hands. “Off you go!”

Still a but confused and his cheeks turned bright red, the professor walked over to his colleague. Missy leaned her head on her hands and watched him starting a conversation with her.

“I’m impressed.”, the Doctor said and sat down next to her.

“Why?” Missy looked at him, lifting an eyebrow.

“You playing Cupid.” He nodded over to the professors. “How did you know?”

“That he liked her? How didn’t you know? It was obvious.” Missy huffed. 

“I guess I’m not good at spotting such things.” The Doctor scratched his head.

“Yeah.” Missy rolled her eyes. “Be a darling and get me a glass of wine. I think the evening is old enough for beverages.”

“Didn’t you say you didn’t want to drink?” The Doctor lifted an eyebrow.

“I said I didn’t want to get drunk. But I’d like to drink a glass with you.” She shrugged. “Unless you don’t want to.”

“I guess one glass won’t hurt.” The Doctor got up again and fetched a bottle of wine and two glasses for them. Then he poured the wine in and lifted his glass.

“Cheers!”

“Tchin-tchin!” Missy smirked and took a sip.

“So, are you enjoying the party?”, he asked.

“I’m enjoying it from afar, yes.” She smiled at him. “I’m watching the people and try to see them with your eyes.”

“What do you mean?”

“With... empathy.”, Missy mumbled into her glass and emptied it with a huge gulp.

The Doctor didn’t really know what to say, so he just poured some more wine into her glass.

“I’ve always hated the stench of humans.”, Missy continued without looking at him. “They’re rotting. They’re born dying.”

“That’s not true. They may not live as long as you and me but they are much more than rotting flesh.”

Missy nodded and circled her manicured fingers around her glass. “I never valued life.”

“You saved mine.”

Now she did look at him. All of a sudden she seemed tired and exhausted. “That doesn’t make up for the millions I took.”

“Missy...” He carefully took her hand. “I know that it hurts but realising what you have done is important.”

She nodded. “I know. I just don’t know how to live with it.”

These words stung in his chest. “You’ve been condemned for your crimes.”, he said as softly as possible. “And you’ve been punished for them. Now is your chance to restart.”

“Being condemned doesn’t bring them back.”, Missy said with a dry voice and emptied her second glass.

“I know. But you can be good.” He squeezed her hand lightly. “You know me. I’m no saint as well.”

“Yeah, I know your dirty little secrets.” Now she had to smile a little.

“And they hopefully stay secret with you.”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

The Doctor huffed. “Be nice.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“I want to be honest, I don’t know where to go from here as well.”

Now Missy had to laugh. “More wine?”

“What about not getting drunk?”

“What about shut up?”

The Doctor should have felt ashamed for getting himself drunk with Missy, but he didn’t. Contrariwise, he felt relaxed. Having drinks with an old friend... something so trivial could really brighten the day.

Missy also seemed much better than before. After her fifth glass of wine she started to giggle over literally nothing and after some more she just rested her head on the table, admiring the wood.

“Woody wood...”, she mumbled before sitting up again. Then she looked at him, blinking for a few times.

“Doctor... I think I’m drunk.”

Now he had to laugh. “Yes, you are.”

“Damn... this body doesn’t have a high tolerance.” She shook her head before taking another sip of wine.

“You have drunk almost two bottles of wine.”, the Doctor tried to explain but since he also had granted himself quite a few glasses he could feel the alcohol's influence as well.

“Like I said.” Missy smirked and then leaned her head on his shoulder with a sigh. “I haven’t been drunk in centuries.”

“Well, that is, in fact, a good thing.” He looked at her in amusement.

“Whaaatever.” She yawned. “Now I’m gonna go all in. The hangover tomorrow has to be worth it.”

“You’re rubbish.” He shook his head.

Missy started giggling again. “You know me, sir!”

“I think you already had enough.”

Now she pouted and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Do you wanna be a spoilsport?”

“I’m no spoilsport.” He vehemently shook his head.

“Bring the good stuff then.”

“The good stuff?” He lifted an eyebrow.

“Scottish whisky.” She nodded to underline her words.

“Alright. Good stuff. But you have to move if you want me to get up.”

Missy pouted again. “You’re fluffy.”

“Fluffy. Really?” He shook his head.

“Your hair...” She ran her hand trough it. “Fluffy puffy.”

“Is it now?”

Missy nodded. “Now you go get the good stuff and I’ll go to the little girl’s room. And then we’ll meet here again... with your fluff puff.”

The Doctor shook his head. “Never without it.”

Missy chuckled and moved away from him to get up. He had to catch her though because she wasn’t able to stand properly anymore. 

“Careful.”

“Bloody shoes.” Missy slipped out of her high heels. “Better go without them.”

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea to enter the bathroom without shoes.”

“Better than breaking my everything.”

“That’s probably true. Should I come with you? You don’t look very stable on your feet...”

“ _Girl’s room_ , man!” Missy shook her head. “I think I’m able to do that on my own, thanks.”

The Doctor lifted his hands in defence. “You go girl.”

“I’ll fly. Whee.”

“Please just walk. It’s safer.”

“And boring.” Missy chuckled. “Don’t worry. I’m a grownup woman.”

“Indeed you are.” He nodded. “I’ll get the good stuff.”

“Good stuff.” She pointed at him with her index finger and a drunk smirk on her lips. “Very good stuff.”

“The best stuff.” Excited by the booze in his veins he walked over to the bar with jaunty steps.

“Enjoying the evening, Doc?”, Percy Clearwater asked. He was one of his most ambitious students and would graduate next year, but for tonight he had volunteered to serve beverages.

“Yeah, I suppose. Do me a favour and give me the best Scottish whisky you’ve got.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say we’ve got good whisky. We have no budget.” His student shrugged.

“Then just the whisky that’s here.” The Doctor sighed.

“Wanna celebrate something with your girlfriend?”, Percy asked with a smirk on his lips.

“Who?”

“The lady you’ve been flirting with all evening?”

“I wasn’t flirting. And she isn’t my girlfriend.”

“Of course not.” His student smirked and winked while handing him a bottle of whisky. “Enjoy your not-date.”

“Kids these days.”, the Doctor muttered while walking back to his chair. Missy wasn’t back yet, so he poured a glass for himself while waiting.

“Doctor!”

He twitched when Bill suddenly appeared behind him, hissing into his ear. “Emergency. Highest emergency.”

Without hesitation he followed her, out of the party zone into a dark hallway next to the toilets. What awaited him there was the worst thing he could have imagined.

A boy was lying on the floor. It was Barry Ferkins, one of the students who had graduated today. His eyes were staring blankly into nothingness. The floor was spilled with blood from a wound on his head. He was dead.

Nardole had chained Missy’s hands behind her back and held her in a tight grip. The Time Lady didn’t look up, she had no expression on her face at all. Her white blouse was stained with red drops of blood.

“Please tell me this isn’t true...”, the Doctor said, his voice almost gone.

“I told you so.”, Nardole said currishly.

The Doctor held his now aching head. “Missy... did you...?”

The Time Lady didn’t answer. She was just staring at the floor.

“Look at me.”, he said, his voice growing loud and angry. She didn’t obey, so he just grabbed her face and forced her to look at him.

“Did you kill this man?”, he hissed furiously.

Missy blinked a single tear out of her eye before nodding lightly.

He did let go of her, staggering a few steps back.

“Get her out of my sight.”, he finally growled, clenching his fists.

Nardole nodded and shoved her to the back entrance to get her back to the Vault without people noticing.

“Should we... call an ambulance?”, Bill asked carefully.

“And what do you want to tell them?”, the Doctor asked, his voice still filled with anger.

“I don’t know... but sooner or later someone will find him. We can’t just... hide the body. I mean, Missy was trying to do that when I found her, but...”

“I will call 999.” The Doctor looked at her. “But first I need to make it look like an accident.”

“Okay but... how shall we do that?”

“You do nothing. I don’t want you to get involved in such things. And I’m sorry you had to witness it.”

“Doctor... I got involved the moment I met you.” Bill smiled lightly. “You’re the best friend I ever had and I won’t let you down when it gets dirty.”

The Doctor blinked a few times, then ran a hand over his face. “I’m too drunk to argue properly. Your luck.”

“We could take him on the roof with the TARDIS and push him down.”, Bill suggested. “Then no-one would question the wound.”

“You’re scary now. But right.” He nodded. “I’ll go get the TARDIS. Just make sure no-one sees him.”

“Can you even... drive it? You really are drunk.”

“Well, I have no choice, do I?”

The Doctor would have preferred an invasion over the dirty duty he had to do tonight. Pushing a student down the roof and cleaning up blood in a dark hallway wasn’t something he wanted to do more often. 

Normally things always looked better in the next morning, but the next morning only brought a hangover and a dark atmosphere on campus. The police had investigated the death of Barry Ferkins and came to the conclusion that it had to have been suicide. On the one hand it was good, since no-one doubted it and asked questions but on the other hand it left the other students and professors in a dark mood.

The Doctor didn’t go to face Missy that day. Or the next one. Or the day after the next. He was too angry. Too disappointed. Too disgusted.

Nardole went down to bring her food, but he always reported that she didn’t want to eat. And for the first time since she was under his watch he didn’t care.

But then, over a week of dark mood and anger in the air later, Bill entered his office, completely out of breath from running.

“Doctor”, she gasped. “I went to the Vault to talk to Missy and...”

“Not a good idea.” The Doctor stood up, his voice harsh. 

“No, you don’t understand! She told me what happened that night! And you’re doing her wrong! Please, go down to the Vault!”

“I already know that she killed my student.”

“You don’t know what happened.” Bill shook her head. “But you need to.”

“Why would I?”

“Because it really was an accident!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The content of this chapter was basically the first idea I had for this fanfiction. More or less.  
> Is it worrying that that is the stufff that comes to my mind when I can't sleep? xD  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. x3  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	6. Tendance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to go back to him. But just as she is about to do so, someone is calling her.

_She is in a merry mood. Mostly because she is drunk, but also because she_ _got drunk with him._

_The bathroom mirror is telling her that she still looks amazing_ _._ _She washes her hands and cheeks_ _before leaving and_ _wipes her naked feet clean on the carpet._

_It’s time to go back to_ _him_ _._

_But just as she is about to do so,_ _someone is calling her._

The Doctor entered the Vault. It was dark inside since no-one had turned the lights on. But the containment field was always dimly illuminated while activated, so he could see her lying there.

He stepped closer and just had to admit that the sight startled him. Missy was pale and bedraggled. She still wore the stained clothes from the graduation party and he could hear her stomach growling. Her makeup was smeared. She had been crying. 

“Missy...”

She slowly turned her head to him. He’d never seen her this broken before and it made him feel horrible.

“Bill convinced me to come and listen to your story.”, he said quietly. “So, let me hear it.”

“I didn’t want it to end like that.”, she said. Her voice was rough and tired.

“Bill said it was an accident. Is that true?”

Missy closed her eyes. “That guy... He called me over into the hallway. I followed his call because I wanted to be nice and listen to his woes.” She curled herself up. “He was even more drunk than me...”

“What did he want?”, The Doctor asked after a few moments of silence.

“Sex.”

The word stung through the Doctor’s whole body. “What...?”

“He got all flirty and touchy...” Missy turned away from him, her body trembling lightly.

“Touchy...?” An unpleasant feeling spread in his limbs.

“I told him I had no interest and wanted to go back to you, but...” She stayed silent for a few seconds that seemed like an eternity to him. “...he pushed me against the wall and put his hands in places where they don’t belong!”

Missy took a deep and shivering breath. “I just pushed him away. I didn’t want to kill him. But he stumbled and hit his head. And then he... just stopped breathing. I tried to wake him up but... he was gone. Then I panicked and wanted to hide the body but... your little pets found me.” Her voice broke. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just can’t be good, I’ll always be a monster...”

“Missy...” The Doctor slowly came closer and deactivated the containment field to kneel down next to her. “I’m the one who should be sorry. And I am.”

She looked at him with watery eyes. “What for?”

“Because I didn’t listen to you.”

“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t make a difference. I still killed him.” She curled herself up again.

“You were just defending yourself... You did nothing wrong.”

“Nothing wrong...?” Missy looked at him again. “I killed someone.”

“It was self-defence.” He placed a hand on her shoulder.

She blinked in confusion. “Where is the difference? What does make this homicide acceptable and all the others not?”

The Doctor once again realised how distorted her view of murder and morals still was.

“He tried to rape you.”, he explained as calmly as possible, even though saying it out loud made him sick. “It’s not wrong to stop him from doing that.”

Missy shook her head. “I wish I hadn’t .”

That sentence made the Doctor pull her into a tight embrace.

“Don’t say that.”, he whispered into her ear. “Nobody has the right to do that to you. You did nothing wrong. I’m the one who’s to blame.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly. I should have listened to your story ab initio. But I didn’t give you a chance.” He gently caressed her back, the guilt filling his whole mind and body.

“Do you forgive me then?”, she asked quietly.

The Doctor shook his head. “There is nothing to forgive. I’m the one who has to ask that question today.”

“Please don’t leave me alone again.” Her fingers crawled themselves into the fabric of his coat and she buried her head in his shoulder. 

“Never. I promise. Is there anything I can do for you... to make amends.” He carefully pulled her closer.

Now she looked at him, a smile forming on her face. “I want a warm bubble bath with someone to scrub my back.”

“If that’s what you want...” The Doctor shook his head. “Are you sure you want me to touch you like that... after what happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“You said that he did touch you.”

Missy shrugged. “I really don’t know why you’re making such a fuss about it.”

“Because it isn’t right. No means no.”

“You really should regenerate into a woman for a change.” She looked at him, her face serious. “Men always do that. They love to be superior. I used to vaporise the idiots who came too close to me in the past. But... let’s just say that wasn’t always possible.”

The Doctor stared at her, slowly realising that she was implying. “Missy, I...”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

“I... I do worry and I really want you to talk about it... if it isn’t too much.”

“Doctor... I have no right to be upset. I’m a rapist too. I’ve also been a stupid man once.” She looked down at her stained blouse.

“You may have been in the past but that doesn’t give someone else the right to do it to you.” The Doctor gently caressed her cheek.

“I was in prison for a long time before the execution.”, she said quietly. “It was a horrible place.”

“Did some inmates... misdemean?”

Missy shook her head. “It was the guards. And no one ever stopped them, even though they all knew. No one cares about felons. I saw strong warriors breaking in there. Many committed suicide to escape.”

The Doctor took her hands in his own, plainly frightened by what he just heard. “How did you cope?”

“You know me.” She put on a smirk but it was obviously fake.

“Yes. That’s why I’m asking.”

“You know, I smell awful and my hair starts to create life of its own. I really need a bath.”

The Doctor nodded, accepting her decision not to talk about it. He stood up and gave her a hand to help her up.

“Do we still have some of that bubble bath that smells like cherries?”, she asked on the way to the bathroom.

“I think so, yeah.”

“Good.”

The Doctor closed the bathroom door behind them and grabbed a towel from the cupboard to put it on the floor next to the bath tub. Then he filled the tub with warm water and cherry bubbles. 

Meanwhile Missy started to fix herself up again by brushing her teeth and washing the old makeup from her face.

“Test the temperature.”, the Doctor asked of her when the tub was half filled.

Missy dipped one hand into the water. “Warmer.”, she mumbled, the toothbrush still in her mouth.

The Doctor increased the temperature a little. The water was already steaming up the air and fogging the mirror.

“Are you sure you want it that hot?”

Missy flushed her mouth and dried it with a towel before turning to him. “The hotter the better.”

“Don’t complain when your skin burns off.”

“I won’t.” Missy started to unbutton her blouse. It made the Doctor feel very uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure where to look, so he just turned to the bath tub and watched the bubbles inside.

“You can leave if you want.” Missy’s voice was quiet.

He slowly turned back to her. She had stripped down to her underwear, arms crossed over her chest in a very insecure pose.

“I don’t want to leave.”

“I know you do. You feel uncomfortable. I won’t force you to stay. I can scrub my back on my own.” She avoided eye contact with him.

“I’m just not... sure where to look.”, he admitted.

“I wouldn’t ask you to stay if I would mind you looking...” She stepped closer to him. “...or touching.”

“If you want to get spoiled, I will spoil you.”, he said even though he still felt insecure.

“Spoil me then.” Missy grabbed behind her back to open her bra.

“Promise me to tell me if I do something that makes you uncomfortable.”, he said quietly as she threw it away.

“You’re still the one that looks uncomfortable.” The Time Lady huffed and stepped out of her panties before climbing into the tub. She sighed in relief when her body sank into the hot water and closed her eyes for a few moments.

He sat down next to her at the edge of the tub. “Do you want a massage?”

“Oh God, yes.” She slowly sat up again, offering him her back.

The Doctor willowed up the sleeves of his shirt before placing his hands on her naked wet shoulders. He kneaded her soft skin, gently at first, but more rigorous after a while.

Missy visibly enjoyed his treatment and underlined it with content humming.

“Do you want me to wash your hair?”, he asked after some minutes.

“Yes, but take good care of it.”

“Of course.”

Missy slipped deep into the tub again to wet her hair in the water. Meanwhile the Doctor took a bottle of shampoo and massaged it into her scalp after she sat up again.

“It’s so messy. I will have to brush it for so long...”, she muttered.

“It’s not that bad.” He ran his fingers through her hair to unknot it a little.

“Ouch...”

“Sorry.”

“That’s the fate that comes with long hair.”

The Doctor smiled lightly. “Go diving to wash the shampoo out.”

“Aye-aye.” Missy slipped down again to put her hair under water. After she had removed the shampoo she slipped back up again. 

“You look much better now.”, the Doctor said softly. “Now you only have to eat something.”

“Chinese please.”

“Okay, I’ll go over to the restaurant and get some for us.”

“No hurry.” Missy turned to him now and he automatically looked away to not see her naked chest.

“Are you really such a shy boy?”, she asked quietly.

The Doctor shook his head. “I just... want to be respectful.”

“With respect...” Missy took his hand. “I’m still me, even though my body is female now.”

He looked at her face, feeling a bit ashamed now. “I’m sorry.”

“Is my gender really such an issue to you?”

“No!” He vehemently shook his head. “You know I’m not like that.”

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I know you’re not a sexist. But in the early days we even went skinny dipping together and you didn’t care.”

For a moment the Doctor dwelled in memories of their childhood. Back then when things weren’t easy as well but much more simple.

“We did a lot of stupid stuff back then.”, he said with a smile on his lips.

“Yes.” Missy beamed at him and her grip on his hand tightened. “Remember when we went camping in the arcades and Zwylnick’s onector almost bit off your hand?”

He had to laugh. “I was screaming like little girl and you smacked it off me with your encyclopaedia.”

“Had to pay the vet bill.” She chuckled.

“That’s still not fair. He should have trained that thing to not try to bite off people’s arms.”

“Well, we tried to steal acknigks from his garden.”

“Still.”

They both had to laugh.

“I hate Gallifrey, deeply and with both of my hearts.”, Missy said, still smiling. “You were the one that made it bearable.”

The Doctor looked at her for a moment, then he pulled her into a hug. He didn’t care that she was wet and naked and neither did she, as she immediately returned it.

“Is it wrong that I want those times back?”, she whispered into his ear.

“No. It’s just impossible.”

Missy’s grip tightened. “Maybe it isn’t.”

“Missy... we’re no teenagers anymore. I won’t break into someone's garden to steal fruits.”

“I didn’t mean the acknigk incident. Just... you and me together.”

The Doctor slowly broke the hug to look at her. She still seemed weak and he slowly realised that he had hurt her so much that she couldn’t hide her feelings anymore. That she probably was more honest with him now than ever before. Of course she wouldn’t tell him stories from the prison or fears from deep down of her hearts just like that.

“We are.”, he said with a warm smile and placed his hand on her cheek. “And we always will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, it didn't take me forever to update this time! Yay! xD  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	7. Horny Tomato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She wants to scream, to run, to get away from here.   
> At least she tries to tell that to herself.   
> Because the opposite would be much worse.

_She is lying awake. Her body is tired but she can’t sleep._

_She is afraid of the morning._

_It is a strong fear from deep inside of her two hearts. It paralyses her._

_She wants to scream, to run, to get away from here._

_At least she tries to tell that to herself._

_Because the opposite would be much worse._

Missy hadn’t bothered with putting on clothes before the Doctor came back with a bag of food from the Chinese restaurant. She wore her fluffy pink bathrobe and a towel around her wet hair while relaxing like that in one of her armchairs.

The Doctor sat down next to her and put the food boxes on the table.

“There you go. I’ve brought duck, noodles and calamari for you.”

“Perfect!” Missy took the chopsticks from the bag and started eating. He was relieved that he did not have to persuade her to do so.

“Open.”, she suddenly said.

“What?” He frowned in confusion.

“Your mouth. Open.”

The Doctor did as he was told and she fed him a piece of duck.

“You should have brought something for yourself, silly.”, she said with a smile.

“It’s fine, I’m not hungry.”

“You are.” Missy poked his stomach. “But we can share.”

“No, you’ve gotta eat.”

“I am eating.”

“And that’s good, so don’t stop.”

Missy huffed but obeyed, eating almost everything he had brought her.

“Full.”, she finally said and poked the last calamari. “Do you want the tentacle porn?”

“After that sentence I’m not so sure anymore.”

Missy laughed and picked it up with her chopsticks to shove it into his mouth. Then she stood up and stretched her limbs.

The Doctor put the plastic waste into the bag. And suddenly Missy sat down on his lap and leaned her head on his shoulder. He was extremely perplexed by that but carefully wrapped an arm around her.

“You’re comfortable.”, she muttered.

“Thanks, I guess.” He smiled a little and started to caress her shoulder. “You’re very cuddly today.”

“You’re right. That’s bad.” She wanted to get up again, but he pulled her back into his arms.

“It’s not bad.”

Missy looked at him for a few seconds, then she suddenly leaned in to peck his lips. It surprised him a little, but he returned the kiss nevertheless. He didn’t think much about it at first. They did have kissed each other many times before. But then she moved closer and deepened the kiss, while burying her hand in his hair. He could feel her tongue entering his mouth and automatically tightened his grip on her.

But as abruptly as she started it, she also ended the kiss again, almost jumping away from him with pink glowing cheeks.

“Well that was something.”, the Doctor said with a smirk.

“Please leave.”, Missy said with a shivering voice.

He frowned and stood up to gently grab her upper arms. “Missy, what is it?”

“Nothing, I... just want to be alone. Please.” She shoved his hands away.

“Really?” The Doctor tilted his head. He knew that she was lying.

“Please...” She shook her head. “I... I’m not myself today. And I might do things I’ll regret. Please leave now.”

“Alright.” The Doctor nodded and walked away from her. He didn’t want to upset her now.

But after he took a few steps he suddenly heard her voice again.

“Doctor.”

He stopped and turned around, seeing her walking towards him.

“What is it?”

Missy’s breath shivered as she grabbed his coat and pulled him close.

“Do you want to have sex?”, she whispered into his ear.

The Doctor had to gulp. His body felt a bit startled, yet excited on those words.

“A.... Are you sure? I mean...”

“Just say yes or no.” He could hear the excitement in her voice.

“I really don’t know...” She didn’t let him end the sentence and just kissed him again. The Doctor surrendered as she grabbed his waist and pulled their bodies together.

“Okay.”, he whispered against her lips and picked her up to carry her to the bed where he carefully put her down again.

Missy smirked and removed the towel from her still a bit wet hair. Then she slowly pulled his coat down his shoulders until it just dropped on the floor.

“Put off your shoes before entering.”, she smirked before laying down.

The Doctor kicked his boots away and climbed into the bed. She grabbed his vest and pulled him closer.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be nice.”, she whispered before kissing him again while unbuttoning his vest.

The Doctor had to admit that the thought of Missy being evil in this situation didn’t seem too bad. But he didn’t say it out loud. He felt too ashamed for even thinking it.

“You have too many buttons. Couldn’t you wear a tee today?”, Missy complained as she started to unbutton his shirt after being done with the vest.

“Sorry.” Her impatient tune made him chuckle a little.

“You’re not sorry.” She forcefully pulled down his shirt and vest. He did wear a blank tee underneath what made Missy roll her eyes. 

“You know what? Do it for yourself. I’m not your servant.” She crossed her arms.

“I didn’t ask you to do it.” The Doctor put off his tee with a smirk.

“Yeah, well, maybe you’ve given me too many PG-13 romantic movies.” She huffed.

“I gave you one. Because you asked for it.” He lifted his eyebrows.

“Whatever!” Missy crossed her arms. “Get your pants down.”

“You’re really romantic.” He shook his head but did as he was told.

Missy sat up again, eyeing his now naked body. It made him feel a bit nervous but before he could say something she grabbed his shoulders and threw him on the bed. He had to gulp and breath hard when she sat down on him, slowly removing her bathrobe. She was wearing nothing underneath and this time he didn’t look away.

“I know.”, she said in a low voice. “This body is perfect.”

The Doctor bit his lip, silently agreeing with her. He could already feel his blood wandering south.

Missy leaned down now to spread kisses on his chest. He leaned back his head and enjoyed the treatment.

“I’m gonna help you.”, she whispered against his skin and he could feel her hand on his manhood now. He had to admit that it did help. But she wasn’t very tender.

“Ouch!”, a little complaint escaped his lips as she grabbed him a little too hard. 

“Sorry.” Missy actually seemed to be embarrassed. “I’m not used to... being nice.”

The Doctor shook his head. “It’s fine.”

“Yeah... can see that.”, she said with a smirk. It made him blush a little.

She sat up again, her smirk changing into a warm smile. “You’re a horny tomato.”

“That... was the least sexy thing you could have said now.” He tilted his head.

Missy chuckled. “I wasn’t trying to do dirty talk.”

“What kind of talk then?”

“Honest talk.” She leaned down and pecked his lips. 

“Honestly?” He ran his hands down her naked arms. “I think I truly am a horny tomato. But you are a teasing broccoli.”

“Why am I a broccoli?” Missy pouted.

“I like broccoli.”

“I like tomatoes.” She gave him another kiss before sitting up again. “Are you ready?”

“Don't ask such questions.”

“But isn’t it kind to ask first and then...?”

He didn’t let her finish the sentence and pulled her down into another kiss. She immediately returned it and moved her body against his’ before slowly spreading her legs for him.

Carefully, he moved into her without even breaking the kiss. Her body shivered and she wheezed against his lips. It took them a few moments to get adjusted to each other but then they started moving together with Missy leading the pace. She buried her head in his neck and he could feel her panting against his skin. He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes, soaking in the momentums.

After some moments of pleasure Missy sat up again and placed her hands next to his body in the sheets. He watched her increasing the speed, her body moving up and down on him, her hair flying through the air. 

“You’re beautiful.”, he said with a breathless voice.

She stopped moving and just stared at him in disbelief, her cheeks turning pink now. 

The Doctor smiled and ran a hand through her hair. “Go on, don’t let me distract you.”

“Moron.”

Missy moved a bit harder what made him gasp for air. She gave him a satisfied smirk and kept that pace. Panting, he clawed his fingers into the sheet, granting her full control over his body. Her moves got faster and faster as she sat up completely and started wild ride on him. He couldn’t hold back some loud moans and grabbed her hips to push her even harder onto him. She already made him see stars of lust and it didn’t take him very long to go over the edge.

Missy moaned loudly as he came, her muscles tightening around him and she rode out her own orgasm before falling back down onto him. Breathing hard, he wrapped his arms around her again. They both took a few moments to gasp for air, then he slowly moved out of her.

“That was quite something.”, he panted with a smirk. 

Missy looked up at him, a lusty spark shining in her eyes. “Ready for round two?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... enjoy Tomato x Broccoli xP ♂♀  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	8. Time is Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're coming.

_They’re coming._

The Doctor opened his eyes. His limbs were hurting as he attempted to move, so he just stopped trying for now and rested a little longer.

Next to him, he could hear quiet snoring. Missy was still sleeping, her back pointed towards him and her hair covering her naked shoulders but not the deep marks on her back he left there last night when things got a little bit kinky.

A look at the clock told him that it was about time to leave. He had lectures to give, no matter how ruined his body was.

Wheezing, he stood up. For the first time in ages he really felt old.

“Sneaking off?” Missy turned to him with a light smile on her lips.

“I didn’t want to wake you.”, he said while collecting his clothes from the floor.

“Never ever leave a girl without telling her. That is worse than getting woken for a goodbye.”

“Bye then. I have to go to work.”

“Let’s take a shower first. You can’t go lecturing while smelling like a fish market.”

“I don’t smell like a fish market.”

“Yes, you do.” Missy slipped out of bed as well to take his hand. “Five more minutes won’t kill anyone.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

He allowed her to guide him to the bathroom. Every step hurt and he visibly limped. She didn’t say anything about it though and entered the shower with him. It wasn’t really made for two people so they had to stand very close.

“We should really do that more often.”, the Doctor said with a light smirk when Missy just was about to turn on the water. The words made her stop. She looked at her hands for a few seconds, then up at his face.

“No.”

The seriousness in her voice startled him.

“Did I offend you in some way?”, he asked a bit confused and worried at the same time.

Missy took a deep breath and shook her head. Then she turned away from him.

“I’m sorry that I don’t want to face you now. It’s easier like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Doctor, what we did was nothing but a huge mistake. It’s all my fault, I know...”

“Missy...” He carefully wrapped his arms around her.

“Please... don’t .”

He moved back again, accepting her decision for now.

“As soon as we leave the shower you will forget tonight. You won’t ever bring it up again. It didn’t happen.”, she said in a quiet voice.

“But why?”, he asked in confusion.

“This was a line we never should have crossed. I’m just trying to repair the damage.”

“There has been no damage. Missy, we’re both grownups. We were both consent. It’s okay that we did that.”

“No, it’s not!” Now she was screaming and he could hear quiet sobbing in her voice.

“Missy...”

“Promise me you will forget. Promise me you’ll never bring it up again.”

“If it’s that important for you... I’ll promise.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll never mention tonight again.”

“Thank you.” She turned back around and he could see tears in her eyes.

“Missy...” He carefully pulled her into a hug. “Why are you so upset?”

The Time Lady didn’t answer. She just leaned her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

“You’ll be late.”, she said after a few minutes of silent cuddling.

“I guess so.”

She moved away from him and finally turned on the water. It was way too hot for his taste, but he didn’t complain and cleaned his body from last night’s adventures.

Just as Missy wanted to open the shower door and leave, he grabbed her arm once again.

“Don’t go without a goodbye, remember?”, he whispered and gave her a long and passionate kiss. She returned it and wrapped both arms around him.

“Go now.”, she susurrated after their lips finally parted. “Duty is waiting.”

“Goodbye.”, he muttered. Then he opened the door and stepped out of the shower.

When the students asked about his limping he just told them it had been a sport accident and that he had overrated his old body. It wasn’t even a complete lie.

The Doctor started his lecture and didn’t think of the past night anymore like he’d promised. But just as he was about to explain the flow of time in the most simple words possible, someone opened the door to the lecture hall. He turned away from the blackboard to see which one of the students had come in late. His hearts stopped beating for a second when he realised who was standing there. The chalk slipped out of his hand and broke on the floor. The whole room was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I ever tell you how much I love cliffhangers? :D  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	9. On Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She is scared but she doesn’t show it. She won’t give them the satisfaction. Especially not
> 
> him.

_She can feel_ _them coming._

_She knows they’re there before the Vault opens._

_She is scared_ _but she doesn’t show it._

_She_ _won’t give them the satisfaction._

_Especially not_ him.

“Doctor.”, the light blonde woman said, walking towards him while being escorted by a tall man.

“No, no, no!” The Doctor stepped back. “Why are you here?”

“We’ve noticed some... anomalies.” She allowed herself a short smile. “So we contacted your assistant. And he kindly told us the truth. You’ve sworn an oath. And you failed. The deal is over.”

“No, listen!” The Doctor grabbed her arm as she wanted to turn around and leave. “It’s not what it looks like.”

“I pity you.”, the man said. “After all these years you’re still unable to accept that she is a ruthless monster.”

“She is changing!”

The woman freed herself from his grip. “Cuff him. He’ll make it much harder than it needs to be.”

The man activated a glowing pair of handcuffs on the Doctor’s wrists and grabbed his coat to shove him down to the Vault.

Nardole was already standing there. He didn’t look at him as they opened the Vault.

The Doctor felt pure anger. “You’ve told them?”, he hissed.

“They asked me if there had been an incident. I most certainly can’t lie about murder.” Nardole crossed his arms. But the Doctor noticed his hands shaking. 

“Coward.”, he spat out as the door opened.

Missy was standing in the containment field, her arms crossed behind her back and a smile on her lips.

“Hello! It’s nice to have some visitors on this lovely day. Would you like a cup of tea?”

“This is not the time to play games, Koschei.”, the man said angrily and tightened his grip on the Doctor’s coat.

“I’m not playing. I really have got tea. It’s good tea. You might like it.” She tilted her head.

“Missy, you know why we’re here.” The woman stepped into the Vault, followed by the others.

“Why, yes.” She smiled. “But can’t I be nice to my guests nevertheless?”

“Save your breath.”, the man growled.

“Deactivate the containment field.”, the woman said and Nardole did as he was told. The man immediately put glowing handcuffs on her as well.

And suddenly Bill stormed into the Vault, yelling the Doctor’s name, completely out of breath.

“Doctor, some students are making a fuss about you getting arrested or some...thing...!”

She stopped yelling when she noticed the two visitors and cleared her throat. “And maybe they’re right.”

“We won’t arrest him.”, the woman said. “We’re here to arrest her.”

Missy waved at Bill with her fingers. “You’re just in time for the goodbye party. Sadly no one wants to have tea.”

“Why are they arresting her?”, Bill asked the Doctor.

“Because she has...”

“...killed someone.”, the man ended his sentence. “Must hurt to be wrong about her yet again. But you’ll never learn.”

“Whoa, stop!” Bill put her hands on her hips. “You can’t arrest her for that!”

“And why can’t we?”, the woman asked.

“Because she didn’t intent to kill the guy! It was an accident!”

The woman looked at Missy. “Is that the truth?”

“Well.” Missy shrugged. “Yes.”

“Don’t listen to that human.”, the man huffed. “You know her!”

“I also know that I am not Rassilon.” The woman turned to Missy. “You will get a fair chance. I’ll bring you to trial. If you win, you can stay here. If you lose, you’ll go back to prison for another 500 years.”

“Sounds all honkey-dory to me.” Missy smiled.

“You.” The woman pointed at Bill. “You’re coming with us. You will be a witness in the trial.”

“You can’t take her to Gallifrey alone! I’m coming with you!”, the Doctor protested.

“You’re more than biased.”, the man noted.

“Maybe I am but I am also a witness.”

The woman looked at the Doctor. “You, the human and the cyborg are all witnesses. You’re coming with us. But you will be thrown out if you don’t play by the rules.”

She activated the teleport transport module on her wrist and in the next second they were standing on Gallifreyan ground.

“Kronor!”, the woman shouted. A young Time Lord ran towards them. He was in his first regeneration, only about fifty years old and eager to please.

“The court will open soon. Guide the witnesses to their room.”

“Yes, Lady President.”, Kronor said, smiling at the Doctor and his companions. “Please follow me.”

“Okay, you’ve got some explaining to do now.”, Bill said with crossed arms after Kronor had brought them to a blank room with nothing inside but a huge glass window and an uncomfortable couch. 

The Doctor sighed. “The Lady President is the current ruler of Gallifrey. That is, if you remember, the planet where Missy and I come from.”

“So, we’re on your home planet now?”

“Yes. Thanks to you Missy will have a chance.” He suddenly took Bill’s hands and said in an almost begging tune. “You’re her chance. Her only chance.”

“But... how?”

“Just tell them what happened. Tell them why you think Missy shouldn’t go to prison but stay in the Vault. Convince them.”

“I can’t do nothing but tell the truth.”

“You don’t understand. They tell me I’m biased, but it’s them. They don’t want to see the potential she’s got, they only want her in prison. It won’t be easy to make them change their mind. This trial is a farce.”

“But why am I her only chance?”

“Because you’re neutral. You’re not one of us.”

Bill took a deep breath. “What about Nardole?” She looked at him, but the Doctor just shook his head.

“Nardole will go to the shame corner now.”, he said while raising his voice. “Because they only came here because he told them about the murder.”

“They asked me!”, Nardole complained. “Should I have lied?!”

“Well, yes, of course!” The Doctor gave him a furious glance.

“Please stop!”, Bill shouted. “That isn’t helpful. Please... just tell me what to say, Doctor.”

A few hours later the Lady President entered the room, together with her attendant and Kronor. They didn’t say anything but Kronor tapped on the window with a sonic device and it revealed a room behind. Missy was kneeling in the middle of it, constrained to the floor with heavy glowing chains.

“Missy.”, the Lady President said in a calm voice. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes, dear.”, the Time Lady said. She still smiled.

“Arynaik.”, the Lady President spoke into her communicator now. “We’re ready. Go in.”

A door in the other room opened. A very tall Time Lord entered, a golden glowing syringe in his hand.

“What are you doing to her?”, the Doctor said alarmed, immediately moving closer to the window.

“Relax. It’s just a truth serum. If she doesn’t have anything to hide, she has nothing to fear.”, the Lady President said while Arynaik willowed up Missy’s sleeve and then injected the fluid into her arm. She didn’t protest or defend herself.

“Oh Mommy, that’s quite a feeling!”, she wheezed as the serum burned brightly through her veins.

“Missy. The Mistress. The Master. You’re on trial now. Everything you say will be recorded.”

“Yes.” Missy nodded.

“Tell me about the human called... Barry Ferkins.”

“Well, I don’t know much about him.”, the Time Lady answered truthfully. “I only met him once and then he died.”

“How did he die?”

“I pushed him away and he stumbled. He fell down and hit his head on a table that was placed there because they had to make way for the party.

“Why did you push him away?”

“Because he shoved his hand into my pants and I didn’t want him to do that.”

The Lady President seemed to be irritated for a moment. “He harassed you?”

“I think he pretty much did, yeah.” Missy sighed. “Of course, I was angry. But I didn’t want to kill him.”

“Lady President.”, the man who had accompanied her spoke now. “May I?”

“I don’t think...”

But he didn’t let her finish the sentence. “Koschei.”, he said. “How many people did you kill in your life?”

Missy was silent for a moment and lowered her head. Then she looked up again. “I don’t know.”

“Why is that so?”

“Because I never counted. Because I’ve erased entire planets. Entire galaxies.”

“So, why should we have mercy on you because one of your killings wasn’t intended?”

Missy stayed silent. She looked down on the floor and chewed on her lips.

“I tell you why!”, the Doctor interfered furiously. “Because she has been charged for that past crimes and it has been her first homicide since then!”

“Can someone please shut him up?”, the man rolled his eyes.

“Please...” Kronor carefully touched the Doctor’s arm. “Wait until it’s time for the witnesses to speak.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this to her...”, the Doctor hissed. “You of all people!”

“I’m just not blinded by her façade. She maybe didn’t intend to kill him yet, but what if he would have gone further?”

“Even further?!” The Doctor pushed Kronor away to move forward and stand eye to eye with the other man. “Haven’t you listened? He had his hand in her pants!”

“But nothing had happened yet. Again, you’re to biased, Theta.” The man smirked.

“You have no right to use that name.”

“Haven’t I?”

“Stop!”, the Lady President shouted. “Both of you, keep your arguments out of court! This is a trial, not a Kindergarten. If one of you misbehaves again, I’ll have him removed!”

The Doctor moved back again, crossing his arms and sulking.

“Missy. Despite that childish argument, a good point was made. Would you have killed him deliberately, if he had gone further?”

“I...” Missy shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“See.” The man smirked at the Doctor. “She can’t lie. It’s the truth.”

“I’m sorry.”, Missy said, and suddenly her voice broke. Tears were running down her cheeks and the Doctor moved back to the window, placing one hand on the pane.

“Missy.”, he said. “Close your eyes. Be honest with yourself.”

“I am.” She shook her head. “I know you want me to be stronger than that but I’m not.”

“So, you’re admitting you’re still a possible danger?”, the man asked.

Missy took a shivering breath. “Yes, I am.”

The Lady President nodded. “The witness may speak now.” She turned to Bill.

The black girl was very nervous but she tried to hide it as she stepped forward.

“What has been said is all true.”, she started. “But Missy is still redeeming herself. She is trying hard, but change can’t be made in one day. It’s a long and steady process...”

“Yes, and now please tell us what you think, not what the Doctor has told you to say.” The man crossed his arms.

Bill looked a bit helpless at the Doctor for a moment, but then she plucked up all of her courage.

“You want me to say what I’m thinking? I think that this trial is a joke. Even though you know she is telling the truth, even though you know that she got harassed you still just want her to be guilty.” She crossed her arms. “I was the one who found her with the body. She was in panic. She was hyperventilating and she was completely drunk. She was scared. I visited her later in the Vault. She was still suffering from what had happened. She blamed herself. She was afraid to never be able to change. And she still is. That is why she doesn’t know if she would have done it. It’s because of her anxiety that tells her that she will never be good. And that is no act of her because she is still doing it right now. As you said, she can’t lie right now.”

“Thank you.”, the Lady President turned back to the window. “Missy... do you want to change? Do you want to leave the past behind and start a new life as a good person?”

Tears were still dripping from her eyes when she looked up. “Yes. I want to be good.”

“Why?”, the man asked. “I mean, where did that change of mind come from?”

Missy looked down again. “Doctor...”

“So, you only want to be good to impress him?”

“I...” Missy shook her head. “Yes.”

“That is not a very good reason, isn’t it?”

“No... no, it’s not.”

“What if he would let you down? If he would leave you alone? Would you still want to be good?”

“He won’t.”

“Answer the question.”

Missy’s whole body was trembling and she bit her lips together.

“Answer the question!”, the man said, raising his voice.

“The Doctor will never let me down!”, Missy screamed. “So, I will never have to think about that!”

“You will have now! Answer my question! What would you do if he wasn’t there to stop you?”

“I would never want to live in a universe without the Doctor!” Her breath was shivering. “I never wanted to kill him, I never would have pulled through!”

“And what would you do if he died today?”

Missy lowered her head. “I’d kill myself without hesitation.”

“Missy...”, the Doctor was frightened to death on those words.

“I don’t think that has anything to do with the subject anymore.”, the Lady President pointed out. “I’ll speak my judgement now. Given the circumstances I will discharge you from murder. You are allowed to return Earth as long as you stay in the Vault and redeem yourself.”

Missy blinked. Disbelief was written all over her face. “... Really?”

“Yes. But if something happens again, you’ll go right to prison. Do you understand that?”

“Yes!”

“Arynaik. Uncuff her.”, the Lady President ordered and the Time Lord did as he was told.

Missy rubbed her wrists. “Really tight stuff.” She slowly stood up, still a bit unsteady on her feet.

Arynaik opened another door in the room and guided Missy through a hallway into the room where the others were waiting.

The Doctor couldn’t help himself and pulled the Time Lady into a tight embrace. Her body dropped into his grip. She was completely exhausted.

“Heart-warming.”, the man said with an overly sarcastic voice and the Doctor could feel her tense.

“It’s enough.”, the Lady President said strictly.

“Oh, but I’m only congratulating the happy couple.”, he answered.

“We’re not a couple.”, the Doctor said.

“Does it hurt when he says that?”, the man addressed to Missy.

“Yes.”, she answered and he could feel her whole body tremoring in terror.

“Oh...” The man smiled wolfishly. “You still have to tell the truth, don’t you?”

“No.”, Missy’s voice was full of fear and anger. “Don’t you dare.”

“Doctor, today is your lucky day. You can ask her anything and she won’t lie.” The man opened his arms. “You’re welcome.”

“I won’t utilise that.”, the Doctor said calmly.

“A pity. Well, I can’t let this opportunity pass.” The man stepped closer, what made the Doctor protectively tighten his grip around her.

“Don’t do this. I’m warning you.”

“Koschei... Missy. Is there something you want to tell the Doctor?”, the man said with a smile.

Missy pressed her lips together and shook her head.

“Really? Because I think there is something you always wanted to tell him but never had the courage to do so.”

Missy shook her head even stronger, biting her lips so hard that they drew blood.

“I know you want to say it. Come on. Do it.”

“I...” She freed herself from the Doctor’s grip and wanted to run out of the room. But the man grabbed her wrist.

“You can’t run away.”

“Let me go.” Missy’s voice was full of panic.

“The door is locked, Koschei. I have the key.”

“I hate you so much.” Missy spat out, ripping her arm out of his grip.

“I know.” The man smiled at her. “That’s why I enjoy this so much.”

“I really think this is going too far.”, the Lady President said but the man didn’t listen to her.

“I won’t let you go until you say it.”

“Then we’ll stay here forever. I’ve got eight regenerations left. How many have you got?” Missy crossed her arms.

“It’s much easier.” The man grabbed Missy’s chin with a smirk. “Because every time I ask the serum wants you to tell the truth. And every time it gets stronger.”

“Don’t touch me.”

“And if I do?” He tightened his grip and Missy simply spat in his face.

The man moved a step back, letting out a noise of disgust and anger before hitting Missy in the face with so much force that she stumbled. The Doctor immediately stepped between them and pulled the Time Lady in a tight embrace, shielding her from the other one.

“Don’t ever touch her again.”, he said threateningly. “In fact, as we are on it, there is something I’d like to know, Missy. Did he do that before?”

Missy trembled in his arms, burying her hands in the fabric of his coat. “Yes. All the time.”

“As I suspected.” The Doctor’s face grew even darker with anger. “You’re blaming her for being a horrible person while it’s your fault that she became that way. She never told me anything, but I always had my suspicions. She was afraid of you and now I know why!”

“ _She_ is a failure. And she knows it. She always has been and by regenerating into a woman, she has crossed the last line of sense!”

“How can you even say that out loud?!”, the Doctor shook his head. “She is your daughter!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Instead of a deep text about the chapter I will put something in your brain.  
> PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS DANCING ON RAINBOWS  
> LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN  
> WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU  
> DOOWEEEEDOOOO  
> MARY STOP SPAMING MY PHONE WITH PICTURES OF KOALA JOHN SIMM THANK YOU!  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	10. Deliverance

For a moment the room was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Bill was the first one to speak, her voice full of disbelief.

“This is your father?”, she asked quietly.

“Explains quite a lot...”, Nardole muttered.

Missy didn’t look at them. She just buried her head in the Doctor’s chest, feeling too tired for any reply.

“And that has been more than enough.” The Lady President shook her head and opened the door. “Go to the arcades. You can use the teleport station to go back to earth.”

“Thank you.” The Doctor released Missy from the embrace to walk to the door, followed by Bill and Nardole.

“Koschei.”, her father said just before she was about to leave the room. “What is it you wanted to tell the Doctor since you were a little boy?”

“I love you.”

He did catch her off guard. She hadn’t been prepared to fight against the serum, she was exhausted and her cheek burned. So, she just said it. And after realising what had happened, she ran. She ran faster than ever before, ran as if she could outrun time to undo her words. She ran until her lungs burned, until every step was torture, until her body just collapsed. 

Lying on the ground, she could feel burning tears running down her cheeks. She curled herself up and buried her face in her legs.

“Missy...”

Of course, he had followed her.

“Go away.”, she sobbed.

Of course, he didn’t. He kneeled down next to her and carefully caressed her back.

“Hey. Look at me.”, he said in a soothing voice.

“Don’t want to.”

He ran his fingers up to her neck and through her hair. “Quite a rough day for you, huh? But look where we are.”

“We’re on the shithole planet with the asshole people.”

“Open your eyes.”

Missy let out a tired sigh and sat up again. After a few seconds she realised that she had run into the fields. The orange grass around them was moving in a mild breeze.

“You wanted to go back.”, the Doctor said quietly. “Here we are.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Maybe not. But do you remember all the days and nights we’ve spent out here?”

“Of course, I do.” Missy closed her eyes. “I just wanted to escape home.”

“I know. I should have done something... should have asked at least. I knew you hated your home.”

“Don’t blame yourself. You did a lot. You were always there for me.”

The Doctor stayed quiet for a moment, then he carefully sat down next to her. “Look, I don’t know what to say and... you probably don’t know it either, so...”

“Just say that you don’t love me. I’ve been delaying that answer for centuries, but I can’t do it forever.” She smiled a little.

“Is that why you never said it? Because you were afraid of rejection?”

Missy felt the tears rushing back in her eyes. “Yes.” She wiped over her face. “It’s not fair. I can’t lie.”

“I really don’t want to take advantage of that, but I think we need to have a talk now.”

“It’s okay.” She shrugged. “Surprise. I have stupid feelings. Feelings I’m so ashamed of that my former self preferred to kill present me... because he was afraid, I might tell you.”

“There is no need to be ashamed.” The Doctor shook his head.

“Please don’t make this longer than it has to be.” Missy looked down on the grass. “And if you don’t want to be around me anymore, I understand it.”

“Now you’re the one who’s being stupid.” The Doctor carefully caressed her oppressed cheek. “Look at me.”

Missy turned her head to him. “Doctor...”

But he didn’t let her speak and gave her a tender kiss instead. She closed her eyes, just wanting the kiss to last forever.

“I do have feelings for you.”, he whispered against her lips. “And I’m sure we can make this make work somehow.”

Missy opened her eyes again. She could barely grasp the words he just said. Again, tears were dripping down her cheeks and she couldn’t understand why she was crying when everything she could feel was blissful happiness.

“Are... you sure...?”, she could barely talk. Her voice was shaking.

“I wouldn’t lie to you in such a matter.”

“You... you’re not just saying that?”

He smiled a little. “Honest talk, Koschei? I had a crush on you back then as well and was too scared to say it.”

“... What?” She blinked.

“Guess we’re both idiots.”

“Yes! Especially you!”

“You didn’t say it either!”

“My father found out!” Missy looked down and bit her lips. “I wanted to write you a letter and he found it. He tore it to pieces and took all my courage... forced me to get married and get him an heir. I never loved my wife... but I did love my daughter. She was everything that kept me sane. And after she died... my world was shattered. You had your own family, no time for me anymore. And when you ran away – without me – nothing held me on this stupid planet anymore. So, I stole a TARDIS as well. But unlike you I was full of anger and broken dreams. I just wanted to see the universe burn...”

“I’m sorry.” The Doctor removed a strand of hair from her face. “I truly am. For everything.”

“They took the brooch from me in prison. I know... I made a weapon out of it. But I’d love to have it back.” Missy lowered her head. “It reminds me of her... and you.”

“I know that keepsakes can be important but... you don’t need it. I’m right here.”

“Yes.” She nodded. “Ignore my babbling. I’m so confused right now and that serum makes me say random things I’m thinking of.”

The Doctor smiled a little. “I think it’s cute.”

“Stop it...” Missy’s cheeks blushed deeply.

“What? Saying that you’re cute? Because you are.” The Doctor smirked.

She flipped his forehead. “Idiot.”

“Speaking.” He chuckled.

“You most certainly deserve me.” Missy wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I guess I can live with that.” The Doctor gave her a loving kiss.

“Horny tomato.”, she muttered against his lips with a smirk.

“I have to ask... why were you so upset this morning?”, he said quietly.

“Because I was afraid you might see me as a friend with benefits now. Or worse, that it would destroy our friendship in general.” She looked away from him, he cheeks turning pink. “I never wanted to give in to those desires. Not without a relationship.”

“You don’t seem like the type.” The Doctor tilted his head.

“You’re special.” She shrugged. “I’m down-and-dirty and you know it. But I don’t want it to be like that with you.”

He smiled and gently caressed her cheek. “I probably don’t want to know about your previous... experiences. But I do know that I want to know more about your desires involving me.”

Missy smiled a bit embarrassed. “Don’t ask me now. You’ll get spoilers.”

“We certainly don’t want that to happen.” He stood up again and offered her his hand. “Come on. It’s time to go home. To the real home.”

Missy took his hand and got up as well. “Home is where you are.”, she said quietly.

“Now you’re getting cheesy.”

“It’s the serum.”

He knew that it wasn’t, but he didn’t care. Hand in hand they walked back to the others. They both knew it wouldn’t be easy. But they also knew that a new life was laying ahead. And they were ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story. I hope you liked it at least a bit. :)  
> Hopefully we'll read again, my friends. *salutes*  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy

**Author's Note:**

> I know that I still have an unfinished story (well, actually more than one) but since I kinda have a writers block on them and have some ideas for something new... here it is!  
> But a little warning... this fanfiction isn't going to be pleasant. At least not for Missy. But well... if you know me you know that already because I always end up in making her suffer... Enjoy! :D  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


End file.
